Wednesday, November 03, 2004
Personal Anthems
Hey everyone. Ya know how I was kinda down the other day about something I really couldn't mention? Yeah...I'm down again. It's been an ok day though...but I have a lot of work to do and they have started firing people around here. Awsome. I don't really expect to be here much longer actually. I really think that I'm on their hit list and they are going to come by any minute now and let me go. So that really doesn't help my feelings at the moment. And my hands and feet are perpetually cold again. Awsome...I love you winter. I guess I'm just in a bad mood. Doesn't really help anything going on right now. Though I do have this uncanny ability to cheer up when other people are down, it really doesn't last forever. So I'm sure I'll feel like life is peachy keen as soon as I get over to kelley's. She's been throwing tantrums every afternoon because she can't stand to even be in her house. And frankly I'm just not really fit enough to deal with it completely. She wants me to be all missing her and stuff but man...when she has that attitude of just outright anger for seemingly NO reason...it's really hard to miss her. But that's just another thing that has me feeling bad...not the main one. Being incapable of missing your girlfriend considering the situation really is just the icing on the cake. Ugh...needless to say I have been using my dashboard as a confessional this afternoon and every evening home from kelley's house. Pooring my heart out to my stearing wheel and then just beltin' out Everclear songs over and over again. It's working a little but I don't think that they made enough good albums to get rid of what I'm dealing with. Watching Lost in Translation seemed to help...maybe I can rent it or buy it and try that one on for size. Oh! and I still have to watch Fifth Element. So there's hope yet I guess. Crap...I wish I could talk about it here...but I just can't no matter how I slice it. I kinda wish kelley read my blog...but no matter how hard I try and get her to read it she just doesn't seem to want to. She thinks it's stupid I guess. I don't know. But after this slightly bitter post I'm sure she would ask a lot of questions that I really didn't want her to ask...so I'll wait till this post gets a little further down the page before I try and talk her into reading again.
What I want to know today is this: what do you guys do as a ritual when you are feeling depressed? And album you listen to, a place you go, a person you talk to, a movie you watch? Anything? I would really like to know. I'm bustin' out the big guns for this one and I might need more help than Bruce Willis, Milla Jovavich and Everclear(the band...duh) can give me. I really do feel like I connect with that movie and those two albums. Something about surviving, risking it all for love, and going against the grain and doing what's right. Internal insperational monologues are all over Sparkle and Fade and So Much for The Afterflow. Let me give you two of my favorite examples of this: "You're posessed with a power bigger than the pain" and "Don't fall down now, you will never get up". Now I'm sure there are some fans out there that know the songs that these are from and KNOW that they can't possibly pertain to me and my life. Since the first is about sticking with who you love even though she's black, and the second is about the artist's struggle with addiction, you would probably be right. They don't pertain directly to my life. But those words and the conviction that he says them with are really just inspiring for me. I just sit there in the car listening to those songs over and over again. Hearing the stories of all those people that didn't make it in the real world and knowing that someone made it out alive (the artist) really makes me a little more humble about my situation. I don't know again...I didn't get much sleep last night either so I'm sure there's some kind of influence on my post for today by my lack of sleep. On that note...sorry guys...I'll stop...
Here are your bullets! Save one for yourself. (sorry...just being morbid)
Music in my car as we speak:Everclear - Sparkle and Fade
Game I last played: Blue Shift
Thomas "man...I love Bill Murray" Schubert
What I want to know today is this: what do you guys do as a ritual when you are feeling depressed? And album you listen to, a place you go, a person you talk to, a movie you watch? Anything? I would really like to know. I'm bustin' out the big guns for this one and I might need more help than Bruce Willis, Milla Jovavich and Everclear(the band...duh) can give me. I really do feel like I connect with that movie and those two albums. Something about surviving, risking it all for love, and going against the grain and doing what's right. Internal insperational monologues are all over Sparkle and Fade and So Much for The Afterflow. Let me give you two of my favorite examples of this: "You're posessed with a power bigger than the pain" and "Don't fall down now, you will never get up". Now I'm sure there are some fans out there that know the songs that these are from and KNOW that they can't possibly pertain to me and my life. Since the first is about sticking with who you love even though she's black, and the second is about the artist's struggle with addiction, you would probably be right. They don't pertain directly to my life. But those words and the conviction that he says them with are really just inspiring for me. I just sit there in the car listening to those songs over and over again. Hearing the stories of all those people that didn't make it in the real world and knowing that someone made it out alive (the artist) really makes me a little more humble about my situation. I don't know again...I didn't get much sleep last night either so I'm sure there's some kind of influence on my post for today by my lack of sleep. On that note...sorry guys...I'll stop...
Here are your bullets! Save one for yourself. (sorry...just being morbid)
- There's another steam update available. Just turn on steam and it will update automatically.
- There isn't going to be a manual for Half-Life 2. Isn't that weird? I thought so.
- There is a rumor that's relatively well founded that there is going to be a shortage of Nintendo DS's available. All the info is in the link.
- There's a new Sonic Mega Collection Plus available now. If you like sonic it is evidently carrying around just about every game in the sonic old-school library in it's pocket.
- There's an interesting set of articles being mentioned over at Slashdot. Some guy has taken it upon himself to review all three versions of the Starwars trilogy and compare them all scene by scene. Really interesting if I do say so.
- Well well well...what do we have here. It would seem that the battery life that Sony estimated for the PSP was mostly bunk. I find this news totally awsome.
- It would seem that the election is truly over at this time. The challenger called in his conceding statement to the president. oh well...so much for America. If this was a "What if...?" comic this would probably be different.
Music in my car as we speak:Everclear - Sparkle and Fade
Game I last played: Blue Shift
Thomas "man...I love Bill Murray" Schubert
Comments:
Whenever I'm down...
ice cream is a must (this is also good when i'm up- go figure)
anything tori amos
Reality Bites
Song 41 (Dave Matthews Band)
"why won't you ever be glad? it melts into wonder"
weird- i have certain songs (like that one) that make me cry almost everytime I hear them, and when I'm down I crave things that elicit a gut reaction. emotional release is definitely a good thing.
i hope that you find something that cheers you up. if you need to talk, you have my number
-Erica
ice cream is a must (this is also good when i'm up- go figure)
anything tori amos
Reality Bites
Song 41 (Dave Matthews Band)
"why won't you ever be glad? it melts into wonder"
weird- i have certain songs (like that one) that make me cry almost everytime I hear them, and when I'm down I crave things that elicit a gut reaction. emotional release is definitely a good thing.
i hope that you find something that cheers you up. if you need to talk, you have my number
-Erica
# posted by 
: 4:03 PM
: 4:03 PM
Yeah...I Really crave slurpees when I'm down. Seems to help. Yeah...when I'm REALLY REALLY down instead of just philosophically down Everclear makes me cry every time. EVERY time. But I've just been belting it out most of the day...seems to work ok I guess. Thank you VERY much for sharing :)
Tommy
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Tommy
