The Roulette Wheel

yeah...that's why you haven't heard from me lately. I've literally been sitting on my ass, reading books, (I'm on book 7 for the summer...and incidentally book 8 for the summer will be book 7 of the Harry Potter series...seriously no spoilers!), watching a SHIT TON of TV (I love you DVR...but hate you so...), a hand full of movies, and a little video games. Basically Mike and Erin left...certain unpleasant dates which were once joyous are approaching...school starts again in less than a month...I'm still taking classes...Ted's on a work binge....and I'm just tired, bored, lonely and lethargic. Poo on me. Anyway...ironically this is about the time that I would usually be found writing poetry like I used to. But it's been so long...or more importantly...I've been happy for so long that I think I might have forgotten how to write anything but lymeric . Which, I might add, I'm freaking excellent at! I have my students challenge me with un-funny topics just so I can prove to them poetry can be written about anything. Haven't lost yet! Anyway...wanted to bring your attention to some shoes. Listen..I love fashion...if there's only one thing (ok we all know there are tons of things but this is a figure of speech) I got from Kelley it would be a new found love of fashion, and there have been a couple of shoes I found in MAGAZINES (yes I'm buying clothes etc after seeing them in mags...sue me) that I wanted to bring to everyone's attention.

Let's start here. This is a pair I managed to resist buying. I don't know how but I did manage it! They are a special edition Ramone's pair. Allow your eyes to feast on their glory!


And this is the pair that I actually had to hunt down using my skills I learned and refined during my many years of taking dumps on Kelley's toilet and perusing the most recent style magazine. I tried searches I tried everything...then I remembered that the magazine is obligated to print their copyrights for all the products advertised somewhere on the advertisement. Found it on along the spine...and now they are on their way to my house. Don't be jealous. We're on love.

Anyway...I have to get back to um...prolonging sleep? I don't know...I don't do anything anymore...I need to go back to San Antonio ! :P

Tommy "Ya know...just for a weekend..." Schubert

Sorry...this didn't get sent because half way through I was greeted by two beautiful ladies I haven't seen in entirely too long and I hope to see again soon. We now return you to your irregularly scheduled blog post:

This place is absurd big. There is a bar AND a restaurant and it's a stand alone theater. It's called "The Palladium". Did I mention it's big? It's actually TOO big.

Thomas "I did this joke already" Schubert

Ok...so today Smashing Pumpkins came out with their first album in 7 years. But I'm here to say that this is actually their first GOOD album since Meloncollie. Seriously. Now hear me out: this isn't the best album ever or anything like that. It's darn decent and after having listened to it all the way though it gets my thumbs up and is somewhere between Pisces Iscariot and Siamese Dream as far as quality is concerned. It's probably their third or forth best album, it's NOWHERE near as shitty as Adore, or Machina. So...if you're missing your Smashing Pumpkins from yesteryear....this album is absolutely worth your 9 bucks. BTW four different versions. Normal, Best Buy, Target, and iTunes. The three odd balls each have a unique bonus track. I snagged the Target one because I'm immensely loyal to Target. Sue me. Do what you gotta do. No you can't steal it from me.

Also picked up the new Interpol album haven't listened to it yet. Well...I've listened to the first track but that's no indication. Both came out today.

Tommy "Loyalty...one of my top five faults" Schubert

This is a quickie. And this picture is of Allen high school. This is the biggest single building high school I have ever been in. It's literally like a mall. This picture doesn't do it justice...it's only of about one fifth of the place. Too big.

Tommy "just the right size" schubert

Ok...so there might be a couple more people coming over than usual. Thought I might clean house and make it a little less...well a little less around here. First things first. Hey there everyone! :) Long time no see! :) Great to finally meet you, sad it took joining the hellspawn that is MySpace. Seriously. It has got to be the worst designed website I've ever seen not including the fact that it actually crawled out of hell's vagina. But it's good to see old faces. So that's a plus.

Anyway. In leu of actually cleaning up this place I felt the need to come over here and just explain what it is all about: I like to keep the layout simple. There is no bullshit here except for MY bullshit. Basically when I'm writing a paper, I'm bored, I'm depressed, I'm excited about something, or I have something to think about I come here. That's about extent to the categories. I'm not usually one of those bloggers that comes here to tell you all about what mundane shit I did today. That's right out! But anyway. There isn't much here to actually enjoy so I can't very well say something like, "Enjoy!" so I'll have to think of something else. How about this: "be gentle!" Yeah...I think that works.

Tommy "I'm like a little china doll...with a razor tongue" Schubert

So yeah here I am at the Londoner reading again and really I just couldn't think of any other better place to go on America's day of independence from Britain. I enjoy blasphemy of all kinds, I simple don't discriminate. Just wanted to share that with you guys.

Tommy "Dan has a girlfriend...hell has frozen over because he actually told someone." Schubert

Ok. So, you all know that I like to basically continue to improve myself right? If I have a problem (resist vanilla ice!!!) I just think about it and think about it and think about it (which becomes it's own problem) until I figure out the source and then I figure out what to do about it. Well here's the problem: I've been sleeping in later and later lately. I'm really not very happy about it. I'll stay up later and later (last night it was until about 8 or 9 in the morning) and consequently wake up later and later (yesterday I went to bed at 2am and woke up at 4pm). It's gotten really annoying. However since I was startled awake in my own unique way this afternoon (ask me later), I came to the conclusion that I had been looking for for about a month. I'm not sleeping because of Kelley and she's the same reason I'm sleeping too late. Hear me out.

I don't really think about Kelley much anymore and I'm realizing that this is the first time I've actually written her name in quite a while as well. Yeah sure she's always going to be in the back of my head but then again I think about a lot of things in a day. Seriously my mind is all over the place (who's isn't really?). But anyway, in my dreams she's still almost always there. Never sexually. Just there. I think I stay awake so late because I just can't stand to face her. I think I actually fear my dreams about her. Thus I stay up later and later basically attempting to block out sleep all together. This obviously doesn't work but it DOES fuck up my daily schedule. So...why do I stay asleep so long? Same reason. In dreams is the only place she'll actually talk to me. It's the only place where she's my best friend again. It's the only place I can actually see her smile. And some days I just like to stay there longer. Man that's pathetic. But the counselor in me understands. It's hard being your own client! Though I already do a lot of talking to myself ;)

All my friends are moving away and there simply aren't that many left. I'm lonely. Again. Man I hate being lonely. You would think man would only have to endure one stint of painful loneliness in their lives but alas that's not the case. I mean. I'm no idiot. I knew this would eventually come. I'm just expressing my un-like of the situation. Dating isn't going so well either. There's either something about me that only a mother and crazies can love...strike that...that only crazies can love, or...well...or something else. That's just another problem on my list. But it's really not one I'm working on too hard. I SERIOUSLY hate dating...more than I hate MySpace.

Anyway, needed to get that out there. Sorry for the bummer. Oh...and for those keeping score: I'm almost to the point where I wouldn't take her back if she asked. Gimme a couple more years ;)

For some reason I just thought about Katie Girl-I'm-Destined-To-Kill. Hmmm...I should think about that a little more. But not here.

Stay tuned for my Disclaimer on what this blog is all about!! Film at 11! Or maybe...5:30 in the morning...

Tommy "what? 4 solid months in a foreign country on a super tight budget, essentially cut off from all major cities wasn't enough?" Schubert

Ok...today (yes, another paper is due tomorrow and I'm taking a short break) I thought I would showcase some of my favorite quotes and what they mean to me and (if you're lucky) where they came from. I have a friend that collects quotes and it's a collection I could never hope to match either in scale or depth. It's truly epic. Mine sucks in comparison basically...but I have a couple favorites. Here they are!

"Good people are good because they come to wisdom through failure."
-William Saroyan

This is one of my favorite because I feel like this one really goes straight to the heart of how I feel about a lot of things. Translated (for me) it's "I'm a good person because I suck at stuff and learn through that failure." I mean...I make a lot of mistakes in my life. Sure I learn from other's mistakes really well, but I sure make a truck load on my own. It's just good for me to have that realization that when I do make a mistake I can make myself a better person simply by taking responsibility for that mistake, learning from it, and not making that mistake again. Yeah. Next!

"Happiness is a way to travel, not a destination"
-Ray M. Goodman

Oh man...this one is seriously one that I live by (but I guess they all are, so strike that). I think a few too many people think that happiness is something that they don't have to work at. It's not simply something that you can attain and be done with it. You really have to wake up every day and do what you can to make yourself happy and spread happiness to those around you. Ok...that sounds sappy. But when you actually take the time to make one person smile (at least) a day...and I mean REALLY smile...you'll start to feel a lot better about your shitty life or ya-know...your marginally awesome life. ;)

"Life isn't the amount of breaths you take it's the moments that take your breath away."
-Hitch

Guilty pleasure. We all know I like movies. Sometimes I grab a quote. What can I say? That doesn't make them any less or any more valuable to me. Anyway. I just happen to concur with this quote. I really do what I can to enjoy life and let the simple things really touch me. Since this quote comes from a movie that's actually a Will Smith romantic comedy.....I think I make my point.

"Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out."
-James Bryant Conant

Incidentally he is a scientist whose work lead to the SAT and he worked on the Manhattan project. Besides that I think I'm in love with this one. It's inspirational but at the same time it's got great, encouraging imagery. It kind of has a way of saying "Turtles are awesome. Be awesome like the turtle." I fucking love it.

"New York is where everyone comes to be forgiven."
-Shortbus

This is actually from a movie I haven't actually seen yet and to the best of my knowledge there's no way I could possibly get my hands on it. This is the most recent movie from the the director of Hedwig and the Angry Inch . Can't wait to see it. This quote just hit me. I didn't quite know why. A lot of people I know seem to hold New York up on a pedestal and I simply don't get it. I've been there a couple times...hell I've been to a LOT of major cities all over the U.S. and Western Europe but in all honestly...I don't get it. I mean...it's a cool town but...I guess I just don't need to be forgiven for anything. That makes me feel good. So yeah...this quote makes me feel good...so does the knowledge that I don't want...or rather need(?) to move to New York.

"The easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly"
-Scrubs

I'm guilty of this one. So this quote reminds me of things that I do that hurt the other things (or people) around me. Like wanting them too badly. When you finally find a way to actually recognize what you want (this is harder than it sounds for a lot of people) you just kinda latch onto it when you find it. I want things. Sometimes too much. Then they go away. It happens. but with this quote stuck to my computer screen maybe it won't happen so much. We'll see how that goes.

Ok...that's the list of my top 6. usually people have a top 5 but I have a top 6. Blow me. Hope you enjoyed my little distraction. Now it's time for me to get back to work. I hate work. Actually I think there are few things in the world that I hate more than writing papers. I feel like I've said this before. I think I've said a lot of things before. Let's hope I keep saying things for a good long time. I like me.

Tommy "I just think everyone should like themselves...what?" Schubert