The Roulette Wheel

Lately I'm been just closing my eyes and letting the weeks slip by. I can't really say I like life that way but I can't really say I'm not perfectly happy. Just doing a little time slipping. I've been playing lots of games and watching shitloads of movies. Focusing on getting through my work day as fast as possible and then coming home and taking a long ass nap. I mean LOOOONG ass. The other day I literally took a 7 hour nap, woke up to brush my teeth, do a couple other things and then just go back to bed. Yeah, it's crossed my mind that I'm depressed right now. I guess it's possible. I'm staring at an unpleasant choice in my very near future. I have to decide if I'm going to stay with the school or move on to places unknown. Stagnation is almost as scary as moving on, but not quite. I've been batting around the idea of starting a film program at Booker T. Washington downtown. I mean I hate that fucking bitch that works there but if I could get in over her? Sweet fucking revenge. That and mostly I think the whole idea behind that place is a little fucked up. I mean what's the point of magnet schools when there are plenty of schools that integrate gifted and talented programs really well and don't isolate the kids in any real way. I mean...they are more than just a little pampered. Entirely new facility and school over the course of one summer? Integrated into the arts district downtown but completely isolated from everything around? Ok...when I get in there I might decide the kids are pretty awesome but at this point: unfounded bias for the win!

So...here's an interesting issue before I briefly gloat about playing DND earlier today: I seem to be incapable of NOT counseling people I really would rather be dating. Fucking joy. It's funny. When I start doing that, and it's not really something I seem to be able to stop, it basically makes them instantly NOT want to date me. I don't know what's the deal with that. They always come back for more counseling but usually put a great big no-go on the dating. Personally my perspective is: " I really don't even want to waste time talking to you if you've already written me off. " What's going to end up happening is that I'm just going to get used again and again to help them deal with the dumb-shits they decide to go with instead of me. I guess my initial thoughts were that I could show her I'm one of the "good" guys by showing her that I'm better adjusted? Then I think they eventually realize that I'm better adjusted than they are? I don't really know what the logic is. Maybe that sounds pretentious. I don't know. Either way that just seems to be a reoccurring thing. Once again I just wish I was a fucking jerk more than just to my students. Then again I think my students really like that I'm a fucking jerk...hmmm...maybe I have something there? I mean...I have being a jerk down pretty well. I might actually be able to apply it to dating. Woof...that would be WAY not the way I like to do things. I'll think about it.

So today was the first day in about 8 months I have actually sat down and playing DND. It was really great. We mostly got our asses handed to us but that didn't really matter to me. I just really wanted to enjoy myself, gain a level, and kick a little ass. I definitely enjoyed myself, gained a level, but I kicked little to no ass. Ted did all the ass-kicking actually. Regardless, I think one of the coolest things about dnd is always looking forward. Always looking to the next level. Always flipping through your players handbook for your next equipment loadout. Always thinking about what you're going to do with your next character. Hmmm. Interesting. I think I might have actually talked myself into a philosophical answer to this problem. Obviously easier said than done but I think it's a start. Now...how to bring this into the real world? I guess that'll have to be something I look into in the next couple weeks.

Tommy "only needs 50gp to get himself a vangard warhammer" Schubert

There are few things I like more than vacation. I mean really. People say you shouldn't teach because of the vacation time. That's bullshit. I teach for many reasons, and one of them is DEFINITELY the vacation time. I mean, I had time this break to not only go to Hawaii for a week but to hang out and dick around for a whole 'nother week. I love teaching. The End.

Besides the dicking around, I've been busy as shit trying to get the end of my semester to a close. It took a little time but really there wasn't anything else I could do that wasn't just grading...which we all know I absolutely hate. I made a point to focus on all the important things in life. Ya know, like getting my netbook in order, watching at least three entire series of television shows, and buying a shitload of "indie" games I haven't had the chance to play in the last couple years. I've been enjoying Machinarium (Thanks Big L!) but unfortunately it ate my almost completed saved game the other day...but eh. I've also been playing Braid, World of Goo, Indigo Prophecy, and torchlight. ALL of which work on my netbook. I got the 1005HA by the way...in case anyone was curious. And I completely love it. Strangely I'm actually about to move to expert on Rock Band's drums. I finally started to head back up that learning curve as I've passed the plateau of Hard. I know it doesn't mean anything, but to have people say shit like "Jesus Tommy! That shit is nuts! I'm impressed!" really means something. Man...that does sound stupid. Mental note...don't mention to people that you're proud of your plastic-drum prowess.

Meanwhile, I've been checking out Dexter the new season, True Blood, and right now I've been watching the shit out of Legend of the Seeker. Man this show is pretty awesome and every episode is available on Netflix streaming. Oh...right...I finally betrayed Blockbuster. I shouldn't have but really I haven't had any regrets about it. The streaming is awesome on my computer at home and on my netbook, and it's even better on my PS3 where I can stream in full HD for some things.

I've made a New Years resolution (I don't do that by the way). I'm going to learn Japanese. I'm trying to say that as much as possible and tell as many people as I can so I can really stick to it. I'm going to try and enroll in Berlitz downtown. I'm pretty sure it's going to cost me an arm and a leg, but really...I can't think of anything more worth my money. I mean...presumably it's a skill I'll have have forever so why wouldn't it be worth whatever I can pay? I'm also going to try and learn a martial art this summer. That's something I'm not quite 100% on as I'm a lover, not a fighter, but eh. It could prove to be something I'm actually good at. Who knows?

So...I'm really excited to be back in touch with a lot of people that I just kinda thought were gone. Seems Maggie Waung is hopefully back hanging out with us. Nikki Nelson moved back to Dallas and teaches at Bowman Middle School, of all fucking places, and I've done my best to get a couple new people into our little Dallas group here. I'm still trying to get Matt and Amanda out of their chosen exile, which I hope I accomplished tonight. I really miss having them around, I consider them both dear friends. I've also started co-opting two other small groups that I'm trying to bwarg into the group we have here. David, Allison and Tracye I'm still trying to get over here more often but they are proving...resistant? I really don't know what's going on there, but I still like them hanging out with us and hope they'll come around more. Nic, Amy and Mary are REALLY new to the group but have proven particularly fun to hang out with and I'm almost positive we'll be seeing more of them. And yeah...I know what you're thinking and you're half right. Tracye and Mary I've been macking on and might be making progress but ya know...just can't use my powers for selfish means so I have no idea what's going on.

Anyway...I've been watching episode after episode of Seeker here in the front room as I try and catch everyone up through this post. So...since it's a little after 4 I guess I'll just finish this post and hit the sack. I think it really freaks the new renter out that I sleep till 3 on the weekends. Heh.

Tommy "misses everyone" Schubert