The Roulette Wheel

Ok so I've been a big fan of facing my fears for a long time. I have a fear and I obsess about it. Not only do I obsess about it I do what I can to really get the fear out of me. At this point my major fears are out of me or completely controlable. Let's take my S.O. Drinking fear. That's completely gone at this point. Took years of hard work with zero appreciation or support but I did it. After that I didn't have many left. Fear of needles was mostly squashed by facing it by donating over two gallons of blood in the last 15 years (had to take time off for all my traveling abroad). All in all I'm doing great on the fear front and I'm proud to be freaking awesome under pressure or in sticky locations or situations. But there is my next, slightly more irrational fear that I have to tackle: zombies.

Many of you know that I love zombie movies, but how many of you know that I watch them with the expressed intention of becoming less scared by their very idea? Or at least that's how it started. Zombie movies don't scare me anymore but zombies still do. This was a fault in my logic when approaching the problem. I wasn't (as it turns out) afraid of zombies...I was afraid of becoming one. Crap. How am I supposed to face that fear??! (besides working cremation into my will...which I've already done) Well...the answer to that question hit me full force about a week ago when Jessica asked me to come along with her and her roommate to New Orleans...for Halloween. That's right I'll be going to the only American city with genuine zombie legends and potentially real Juju zombie powder. I'm so boned. Just to make sure I face this fear head on as well just like the rest of them we'll be meeting a real voodoo priestess. Boned. I was looking for more things for us to do while we were there just now and I caught myself making the below face when I saw a picture of a bunch of very well made up zombies strolling down bourbon steert. When it literally made my heart jump I caught a glimpse of myself in a nearby mirror and took a pic. Man I think drunk buddies are going to be the least of my worries for that trip.

On a totally un-related note. Remind me to talk about my romanticism on tomorrows post. That's rhetorical, don't really remind me, I'm just putting this here to remind myself.

Tommy "fuck I seriously don't want to be a zombie" Schubert