The Roulette Wheel

Ok so here I am at my jury summons and of course they are about an hour and a half late and still no word. But an interesting thing happened that I haven't decided how to handle. I suppose it's still happening considering I'm still in the same situation. So I was just sitting here waiting for everyone to get here and reading my book when a gorgeous woman around my age came in made eye contact and then made a B-line for me. I was like "sweet! ...oh fuck...I have a viscous fart brewing" and she is currently sitting one seat to my left and reading what looks like a fantasy novel. Needless to say my balls ran away as soon as I made eye contact and almost all of my concentrating is devoted to keeping this fart in. Ok...it's not like you guys need to know any of this but still...I'm bored. So I'm trying to decide how to handle this. Literally everyone here is within earshot and to turn her direction and even ask her what book she's reading would probably invite knowing looks from everyone in a 15 foot radius. I think I need to make a bathroom break to clear my head...and my bowels. If this ends up being an interesting story I'll get back to you when I get home.

Tommy "doesn't want to know how deadly 'silent but deadly' implies" Schubert