Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Misperceptions
Ok so I'm actually washing my car right now and I'm waiting for it to dry so I can start the next round and do touch-up. Anyway...I just wanted to come on here and rant for a quick one.
I have a masters in counseling so I genuinely feel qualified to make these statements. Yeah I did kinda wait for the degree to finally talk about this.
When something happens, say a parent dying or a hard hard breakup, or something equally tragic it's actually best to talk about it, and I mean talk about it for as long as you feel you need to. Yeah, that sounds like an intuitive statement but a lot of people really think the opposite. They think it's most healthy not to show any emotion and to completely avoid the subject all together. "Hey look at so and so smile! They must be totally over their brother dying!" Actually? It's really not that good for you, in general. First things first, your relationships from there on out will probably suffer because there will be that sore part of your life that you never really dealt with. People bringing it up shoots you into the coping mechanisms that just didn't work the first time around and are just going to make things works. Second, you're constantly in a state of "damaged", and your body knows it. It's been proven again and again that lots of negative feelings and thoughts eventually take their toll on your mood and body. That's not good.
Then there's the flip side (yeah I finished the car and I'm back again). You talk about how you feel, you're open to your feelings, and you can respond to them, properly, yourself or with the help of others. Bottling things up has never been a good idea and there are entire degrees based on that theory...ya know...like my masters (I really like saying that!).
This is the part where I feel the need to defend myself.
I'm healthier than I've ever been in my life, I'm happier than most, and I just because I talk about how I feel and SEEM to get very emotional about things doesn't mean I'm nuts or that I need to be protected in some way. I know how I operate. All my coping mechanisms are empirically based. I have uncanny metacognition. I'm solid. More importantly? I know when I'm not solid, and I have no problem mentioning it. My point? I freak out sometimes. I get angry sometimes. I'm human. It's testament to my degree (man that is awesome to say) and who I am that I'm not worse for wear right now. Bombshells are gonna hit eventually. They are going to suck and they are gonna suck hard, but people? I'm not a fragile little doll. I can take it and always come out stronger. That's just how I operate.
Anyway. That's about all the ranting I have in me today I think. Happy Birthday Mike!! :) Off to the gym!
Tommy "oh how I long for the days of nanites that'll do my workout for me" Schubert
I have a masters in counseling so I genuinely feel qualified to make these statements. Yeah I did kinda wait for the degree to finally talk about this.
When something happens, say a parent dying or a hard hard breakup, or something equally tragic it's actually best to talk about it, and I mean talk about it for as long as you feel you need to. Yeah, that sounds like an intuitive statement but a lot of people really think the opposite. They think it's most healthy not to show any emotion and to completely avoid the subject all together. "Hey look at so and so smile! They must be totally over their brother dying!" Actually? It's really not that good for you, in general. First things first, your relationships from there on out will probably suffer because there will be that sore part of your life that you never really dealt with. People bringing it up shoots you into the coping mechanisms that just didn't work the first time around and are just going to make things works. Second, you're constantly in a state of "damaged", and your body knows it. It's been proven again and again that lots of negative feelings and thoughts eventually take their toll on your mood and body. That's not good.
Then there's the flip side (yeah I finished the car and I'm back again). You talk about how you feel, you're open to your feelings, and you can respond to them, properly, yourself or with the help of others. Bottling things up has never been a good idea and there are entire degrees based on that theory...ya know...like my masters (I really like saying that!).
This is the part where I feel the need to defend myself.
I'm healthier than I've ever been in my life, I'm happier than most, and I just because I talk about how I feel and SEEM to get very emotional about things doesn't mean I'm nuts or that I need to be protected in some way. I know how I operate. All my coping mechanisms are empirically based. I have uncanny metacognition. I'm solid. More importantly? I know when I'm not solid, and I have no problem mentioning it. My point? I freak out sometimes. I get angry sometimes. I'm human. It's testament to my degree (man that is awesome to say) and who I am that I'm not worse for wear right now. Bombshells are gonna hit eventually. They are going to suck and they are gonna suck hard, but people? I'm not a fragile little doll. I can take it and always come out stronger. That's just how I operate.
Anyway. That's about all the ranting I have in me today I think. Happy Birthday Mike!! :) Off to the gym!
Tommy "oh how I long for the days of nanites that'll do my workout for me" Schubert
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