The Roulette Wheel

Ok...so I had nothing to do again tonight. This seems to be escalating. I managed to only get one person on the horn (I'm not counting you E...thanks for calling!) and they didn't want to do anything. A couple others I tried to contact and nothing came of it. I find myself watching "I want someone to eat cheese with" and Sarah Silverman, though hot, was a total jerk to this dude and effectively used him. Didn't help. Bored bored bored. I think there was an issue with today. Today was "let's push Tommy's buttons day". I don' t know how that works exactly. Pushing my buttons really doesn't come up very often but lately it has. It's like the game that I was playing earlier today...Shadow of the Colossus...my buttons are like those fucking runes. There are only a couple of them but when that little fucking guy climbs up my skull and finds that little thing and jams a sword in it, it drives me fucking crazy! Not everyone knows what their buttons are or where to find them, so I consider myself blessed that I do. Let's discuss so that everyone knows and can NOT jam swords in them....and because I have nothing else to do right now...

-I absolutely can't stand it when people are cryptic or evasive when I ask them a straight question. Example: "Hey whatca doing tonight?" "Can't hang out tonight." "Oh that sucks...but whatca doing?" "Stuff" "Right...stuff...catch you later?" "Yup" "Awesome...sigh..."

-Being who I am I'm always rather concerned about my friends. I always want them to be ok and I would bend over backwards just to help them out. I also always know when something's wrong. These things combine to make a large percentage of my friends avoid me like the plague when something is actually wrong. They won't answer the phone they won't return messages, emails, etc. Can't get them to come hang out. This is really annoying. I think it's more annoying because how I am probably isn't going to change "care less about your friends Tommy...I mean sure...no one else probably noticed shit was going down with them but still...they'll probably be fine...probably" Not. Going. To. Happen. But this situation happens. And I hate it.

-Being lied to and having things kept from me. I'm usually pretty good about seeing through lies and I'm pretty good about seeing when someone knows something. This doesn't make this button harder to push. When there's something going down and someone bold face lies to me about it. Wow...superfly TNT.

-Already talked about not returning phone messages/emails/texts a couple months ago but that still gets my goat, but only when done consistently or in quick succession.

-Being lead on. In any kind of relationship if someone doesn't like me or doesn't think things are going well? Don't just not talk to me or not call...just fucking tell me! I'll go away! I promise! I'm a fucking adult! Maybe you should try it!? I'm talking to a large group of people that don't read this blog. My renters, my prospective renters, people I date, etc. Seriously though? I fucking hate dating.

Hmmm....I'm getting worked up. I need to end this post right here. Unfortunately several of you have started keeping an eye on this blog again. That means you might think I've lost my mind. I'm here to assure you that I'm just ranting in cathartic fashion. Speaking my thoughts on this subject make them real and make them into something tangible. Something I can stare at and think about without being consumed. I don't know...maybe I should stop caring about my friends so much. Or maybe I need a straight up friend purge. That would be interesting. Has anyone ever done that? It's when you stop calling all current and older friends and vow only to actively call people you meet from that point forward. Sure you ACCEPT calls from those old friends but you never call them. Now that I think about it...several people I can think of right now seem to already be doing that...I should call them and find out how it's going. Wonder if they would answer... ;) All jokes aside. Time for sleep. Later Internets! Can't wait to be viewing you on my iPhone...eventually.

Tommy "Now where did I put those PS2 games? (Yea...that bored...)" Schubert